*Totally fiction. From the First Person Point of View.*

I've seen you again today. It's been quite awhile. How are you? Are you happy? I know, you are. With that smile on your face, who would be stupid enough to think that you're still thinking of me? Knowing that you're happy with her. I guess I'm happy for you. It wasn't that real back then. I know we were just goofing off. Who can blame us? We were young and naive. Feelings were not stable back in the day, back in the day we both thought we've loved each other and yet we were both mislead with the circumstances that came in our way. Or did we? How was everything after we've grown apart? I hope you didn't shed as much tears as I did. Actually, those were not at all tears of pain. Those tear drops weren't meant for you. Those were tears of pity for myself. I pity myself that I ever wasted time wishing and hoping that this is forever. Yet, we didn't. What a silly wish don't you agree?

How is your brother? Is he still the annoying kid who used to butt in in our conversations late at night? I hope he's doing just fine. I hope he doesn't grow up breaking young girl's hearts. Say hi to your mom and dad for me. Do you remember the time when I spent Christmas Eve at your place? That was hilarious. You ended up singing the karaoke although you barely reached a note just to give way for my request. Who could forget that night? It was also our fifth year anniversary remember? Those were the good ol' days. Don't get me wrong. I am not being bitter or anything. But I just want to ask. Were all your actions sincere back then? Or you were just pretending? No. I don't think I want to hear your answer. Do you remember the time I told you I wanted to do photography? Well, I am now enjoying shooting the beauty of anything that captures my eye. I always thought you would make a perfect model because of your goofy personality and bubbly attitude. You should come by my studio sometime. You can bring her, I won't mind. Or will I? Let's just see what happens. I wish you two wouldn't end up like the way we did. I'm not blaming you. Neither should you blame me. No one is to blame. Well, I think I have to go. She's already calling. Are you going to pick that up? It was nice seeing you again.

Although it still hurts that I love you, still. I never did lost my love. I just managed to survive without you.

I never seem to accomplish anything for the past few days but still there are stuff to do. What's been bugging me? I don't really know myself. Love is out of the question. I totally got over it by now. And as I said to Pacific yesterday while we were having our battle of the French conversation over Yahoo messenger, I can't even remember his face. Haha. So mean!

Enough about that. I realized that I know a lot (I'm not bragging or anything). A lot meaning, I know things... sometimes I even know things that I'm not supposed to know. Haha. Call me an eavesdropper but it's not like that. I always find myself overhearing conversations from people whom I don't even know. Is this a talent or what? It's just weird that I get to know personal stuff from other people without them knowing. Don't get me wrong, I don't intend or do it on purpose, it just so happens that I ALWAYS hear things and learn things.

*Likas na chismosa* Not really. It's a God-given talent that I should only use for the benefit of the good (feeling Superhero). Haha. But sometimes, I wish that I was not informed about certain situations where I am caught in the middle or I end up hurt and deceived. But when you actually think about it, it's just a matter of choice. A choice that you have to make between doing it and not doing it.

I miss my old self - a happy-go-lucky and just plain innocent girl. But living in this world full of deception, false pretense and undesirable events, you can't always be the sweet and good girl image. Sometimes you have to step up to the people who irritate you (like what I always do). But right now I'm happy. Super happy that I am myself. I know there is still a big room for improvement and I will discover that soon.

On the lighter side...

***

Just got a text message from Cookai. Haha! It's a weird list but I laughed so hard! So funneh!

7 Best things to do when bored

1. Papakin ang kape. Kunwari milo.
2. Pag-aralan ang linggwahe ng mga ipis at kaibiganin.
3. Punuin mo ng tubig ang inidoro.
   
4. Baklasin ang TV at gawing radyo.
5. Pagkasyahin ang sarili sa ref.
6. Magbilang ng buhok sa kili-kili. (I'm going to add! After that, bilangin naman ang nasa ulo. Haha! Siguradong fulfilled araw mo!)
7. Sunugin ang bahay at sumigaw ng YEHEY!

Their latest video, Misery Business - Paramore
I am so addicted! And I also loved the acoustic version of this song!

Haley's hair = awesome!

Haley's voice = PRICELESS!!!

I wish I could have her voice, without straining and all that. She sings well during live performances, it's as if she was recording the album! Plus, we are the same age! How good is that? She's just older by a month! Hands down to Haley!!! Woohoo!

I wasn't able to say NO today. When I woke up, I pretended to be sick and complained about feeling crappy and all that lie. But it didn't work, my sister still forced me to go with a lunch out together with my aunt (the wife of my Dad's brother) and my cousins. Haha. But with regards to that, I enjoyed lunch because food was great at North Park at P.Guevarra branch than that of Trinoma's branch. I was quiet the whole time - eating, munching and savoring the food. Haha. Then after that, we dropped my aunt at their place and my cousins went with us to "pasyal". Haha! My cousin Carmina kept on insisting to her mom "Are we going to pasyal?". So we went to Trinoma, Timezone madness once again! I think my brother-in-law spent 500+ just for games? I'm not quite sure. Then merienda at Mcdo. Darn it! Trinoma during the weekend is soo full of wandering people - not knowing what to do with their miserable lives, always roaming like ants. Hahaha!

The supposed-to-be just a "lunch out" turned out to be a whole day activity! I was soo tired when we got home and it was even raining! Haay. Crap.

WOW! First time ever high grade in Math (Finance). Haha! I have craved for you for such a long time!

*Tagalog muna. Wala ako sa mood gamitin ang salitang dayuhang kumakain ng buo sa lipunan (na parte ko na ang nilamon). Gagamitin ko ang wikang aking kinalakhan, ang ating kinamulatan.*

Masakit ang ulo ko pagdating ko ng bahay. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, siguro dahil sa tinde ng trapik mula España hanggang SM North? O marahil sa siksikan sa jip na nakakairita? Ang tagal namin bago nakauwi. Nagkaron pa kasi kame ng pagpupulong (lupet!) para isa sa aking mga organisasyon sa UST - ang CASA ADVENTURE. Masaya naman - bukod sa kahihiyang natanggap namin dahil sa aming pagpapakilala sa aming mga sarili ng napakaimpormal. Nakakatawa, wala talagang iwanan, isa lang sa amin ang tumayo, napilitan ang buong seksyon naming tumayo at magpakitang gilas. Nagmistulan kaming mga bibong bata, may matching beat box pa na gawa ni Rigel. Habang nagbibeat box, kanya kanya naman kaming pakilala sa aming mga sarili. Halos kainin namin ang oras. Hindi pa natapos, may mga parating pang mga kaklase at sabay takbo sa isteyj. Aliw!

Pero kahit na halos mabiyak ang ulo ko sa sakit ngayon, napapangiti na lang ako kapag naaalala ko ang nangyari mula kaninang umaga. Hindi isa, hindi dalawa, at hindi rin basta basta tatlong beses ko siyang nasilayan. Meant to be nga ba talaga na makita ko siya sa tuwing maglalakad ako sa mga espasyo at mga tabiki ng aming sinaunang panahon na gusali? Siguro naman sa ngayon, may ideya na siya kung bakit lagi akong napapangiti sa tuwing magkakasalubong o simpleng masisilayan ko ang makinis niyang bunbunan? Malayo pa lang, alam ko na na siya nga iyon, wala ng iba. Sana nga hindi lang panaginip ang nangyari kagabi nung nakatulog ako sa pag-aaral sa Ethics, na talaga namang tinulugan ko sapagkat walang kasing haba ang lahat ng leksyon na sinulat ko sa aking mahiwagang kwaderno. Sana hindi lang iyon ilusyon. Pero sa realidad ng buhay - oo. Ilusyon lang talaga. Nakakatawa naman ako. Epekto ba ito ng walang katapusang pag-aaral at pag-aalala dahil sa sunud-sunod na araw ng aming pagsusulit? Kaya nga't unti-unti ng nagiging sabaw ang utak ko? Sana huwag naman. Aray kung nagkataon.


Kung susumahin ko ang mga nangyari ngayon, bawi-bawi lahat ng pagod ko at sakit ng ulo kahit na paimportante iyang CWTS na iyan na isang activity lang eh dinaig pa ang Marketing Case Study namin kahapon. Nakakatawa. Isa na naman ito sa mga araw na hindi ko makakalimutan. Nakatatak na rin sa isip ko ang makabuluhang mensahe ni Kevin bago kami lumisan ng aming klasrum, "Makikilala mo lang siya kapag nagtrabaho ka na. Nakikita ko na, tsaka ka lang magiging masaya." Hindi man ito ang saktong mga salita niya, natats (touch) pa rin ako. Akalain mo yon, gumaganon si Kevin! Hindi ko alam na magaling pala siya magbigay ng payo. Pwede na siya maging manghuhula ng lablayp ng mga tao at palitan ang nagsusulat ng horoscope sa Libre. :)

Marami na palang nangyari sa akin. Hindi ko namamalayan at nabibigyang importansya ang mga maliliit na bagay. Siguro nga hindi ko na masyado tinitignan ang mga katumbas ng mga ginagawa ko ngayon. Hindi na ko tulad ng dati. Siguro ngayon mas gusto kong matuto. At matututo lang ako kapag naranasan ko na diba? Ewan. Basta, masaya ako dahil araw-araw ko siyang nakikita. Kahit na sabi ko noon na hindi ko na crush si Corona Boy, bumabalik pa rin. Isang taon na mahigit. Alam na kaya niya ang pangalan ko? Bingo na! Hahaha.

I declare that today is by far, the worst day ever. Haha. First of all, Marketing exams was soo excruciating! and I don't just use the term excruciating when I don't actually mean it. But thank heavens, I didn't pour much effort on reviewing or even memorizing. I just followed what our professor told us - read and don't memorize. Haha! Case Studies... darn it. Why do they have to be always put at the end of the test questionnaire where one can answer them lastly when in fact that they are the hardest (actually, TIRING to answer) and largest part of the whole exam? Sad.

There were also *free kopyahan moments* whenever our professor needs to go out of the classroom. But truth is, even if you ask your seat mate, you won't be able to cheat at all since the test is about defining with your own words and answering the case study. Soo... in short, walang silbi lahat ng effort ng nagtangkang magtanong kanina. Hehe :) But I have no hard feelings on that test. I just wish I get a grade fair enough for all my writing efforts *sayang tinta noh, bago pa naman ballpen ko*.

After the exams, it's as if everyone's energy went down the drain. Nakakasabaw ng utak. So to forget the suffering we've just undergone, we decided to eat out. Cookai wanted to have another one of our bonding moments and eat at Greenwich at San Lazaro but Me Ann and Nico was looking forward to eat at the Orange Place so we declined and promised that we join them next time. But luck has been out of sight lately and unfortunately, the place was closed, for some unknown and weird reason. So next alternative was to eat at a nearby-same-type of eats but unluckily, the place was full. So, after we took a trip around the vicinity of UST, we ended up eating at Jollibee. When all else fails... and you have no choice... JOLLIBEE is always here. *Hangover with case studies and making advertising campaigns?* Haha!

So FINALLY. We decided to go home. Would you believe that it took almost an hour from UST to SM North? Damn traffic! When will it end? I felt so sleepy the whole trip. Everything was irritating and the woman seated beside me was soo annoying because of the way she was seated. Pasalamat siya wala ako sa mood magtaray dahil inaantok na ko. Haha! Oh well, what could be worst? I'll soon find out in the days, weeks and months to come...

***

*I'm super excited for this surprise thingy...Haha. Sorry I can't spill just yet. I have to keep my mouth shut for a couple more weeks. =)*

Today is the last day of our early sem break. Haha! Yesterday, we watched a play entitled "Batang Rizal" at the Peta Theatre, somewhere in E. Rodriguez. It's a mixture of comedy and musical, I really enjoyed the whole thing! Plus the advantage of watching so close to the stage. How good is that? I also had a very good view of the Corona Boy, it felt like heaven for the entire 2 hours. *Kilig* Did he noticed me glancing? Actually, it's more than just glancing! Haha.

Anyway, after the play, me and my block mates went to Gateway to have lunch and our bonding moments. Well, it was supah fun! I never had fun like this when I was at home. Haha. More bonding moments guys!

at PETA Theatre :)

While waiting for them to let us in :)

Shoes galore!

Lunch time

Our new found friend. Haha!

There is definitely something wrong with the system here in the Philippines. (Especially when rainy season like now is in the scenario).

Wanna know what system? EVERYTHING! It's been like this since gradeschool. But I can't blame them totally, sometimes people can't seem to make up their minds on what they want most in life. I am one of those people. Haha.

I've been bumming for the past 4 days instead of finishing my project or studying in advance. (Nerd mode) But who is to blame? The weather is cold, there's no school, nothing to worry about and food is readily available. So what would a girl like me could possibly do? It's so hard to decide. My brain hurts. Hahaha.

Just when the right time comes that I finally decided to go out of the house yesterday, (since last Thursday, it did not rain at all) the good ol' rain poured like there's no tomorrow. We planned to go to John's place and meet at SM North so we (me, Me Ann & John) can all go together. But fate has not let us walk pass our doors, except maybe John who already was in SM when the rain poured so hard, sadly, our supposed adventure was cancelled too. Parang klase lang noh?

But my feet just wouldn't let me stay at home all day. Thanks to my sister, who invited me if I wanted to catch a movie at Trinoma, well I agreed. Who wouldn't? It's free! Haha. Though it was still raining, it didn't stop us from going. (With her husband of course and the kids.)

What i hate about Trinoma, is the parking space. Besides the fact that it's not thought out properly and it's too damn low for big vehicles, it's definitely different in a negative way, from SM's parking lot. Oh well, it needs some improvement. Period.

Masaya mag-Trinoma pag may bagyo! Haha. Few people. Or maybe because it's already passed 7 in the evening when we went there? Anyway, I liked Surf's Up. Not as good as Ratatouille, but I enjoyed the movie for being the hilarious film that it was. Plus the fact that Chiken Joe won the competition in the end. How hilarious can it get? A chicken winning a surfing competition?! Haha! Nice. Kudos to Cody for letting him win, he was indeed a great friend. Just like the friends I have! Well, what can I say? Hehe. I'm super thankful to have great friends! Love you guys! You know who you are :)

"Natupad na mga pangarap ko. Pero teka, bakit parang sumobra naman ata? Noooo."

I can't believe that for the first time in my life, I felt pissed that school's cancelled today and tomorrow. WHY?! Is this me? Well, basically, it's preliminary week and instead of tests being out of the scene tomorrow, it'll be moved for next week.

Why are we being punished? Is there a committee assigned to make a student's life miserable? Haha. Oh well, we might as well enjoy the longgg weekend. (We have no classes on Friday and Monday as well). How good is that? Err, not really. Haha.

Anyway, nothing much is really happening right now besides the fact that Metro Manila is the New Atlantis. Would you believe that the President suffered from what most of the Filipinos have to bear with every day? Traffic! Haha. Good for her. Well.. I might as well savor the moment. I'll finish my project tomorrow!!! Yey!

I've overcome the first day hell test. I am pretty sad about History. Huhu. I didn't answer that test whole heartedly. Haha. I got confused when I first saw the whole questionnaire so basically I freaked out and it took me some time before I was able to pass it. Haha. But it's okay. Bawi na lang. English on the other hand was easy :) I guess the first test a person takes is harder than the second one.

Oh well, I do hope that results won't be that much bitter as compared to my feelings for the past weeks. FYI, I'm totally over it. Super happy. Back to happy-OT-reklamadora-Meng. I should be studying right now. But why am I blogging? Haha. I don't feel like reviewing. I realized something when I arrived awhile ago. Bakit ba lagi ka na lang ako nagrereview? Good thinking. Why? I'm getting pretty tired. Haha. Perpetual studying? Seriously, why can't I just come to school and take the test without studying? Makes perfect sense. Try ko nga yun minsan.

***

Nothing much happened over the weekend except for the fact that I bummed the whole Saturday and recorded a radio program for our Filipino project. I'm done with transcribing. the result? 10 pages, without the analysis and it's not even the whole program. Argh. The life of a student, masaklap! Sometimes I wish everything be done with just a snap of a finger. Sana mangyari yun.

***

I'm all rants and no gratefulness right now. Haha. It's because I haven't started reviewing for Finance or Filipino. Goodluck sa akin!

Speaking of that horror test on History, we had it last Friday. We have to bear the test after classes (we had our special class and test at Tan Yan Kee Building). Essay! Ouch! Well, at least it's over. Haha.

NOOOOOO. Tomorrow is the start of the preliminary week. Super not ready. It's already Sunday and I haven't started reading anything yet :( Poor me....

Three days had passed, three days of not doing anything. *Hindi pala ganon kasaya*. It sucks to stay at home and all I do is think.

*Finally. I am now moving on. I'm no longer haunted by my conscience. Haha :) I already have peace of mind. It's up to him if he accepts it or not, but now, I can say that I'm back.*

I got advice from reliable guy friends recently and it made me realize things. What better way to solve my problem to seek advice from the guys themselves eh? Thank you so much to Mr. Raffy Reyes, Mr. Andrei Subia, Mr. Jolas Salonga (who told me not to be sad anymore because andyan naman daw siya) and to the others who helped me out. It's a great learning experience, I guess, that everyone has to undergo.

Now, I have another problem. Since we've been on vacation for 3 days now, Haha, when will be our prelims in Ethics? Our prelims hands-on test on Computer? Our long test in Filipino and another essay test for Asian Civilization? Haha. Good luck to us. Preliminary exam week is just around the corner. I am super not ready for that!!! Help!

I feel so tired today. Maybe it's because I didn't have much sleep last night. Me, Me Ann and John went home at around 11:30 last night? (I think so.) It was Angie's dinner party at China Place Restaurant inside the Pan Pacific Hotel near Malate. It was super fun. Food was great (I was so stuffed by the end of the night although no rice was served). Crab Crab! I crave for you. Huhu. These are some of the sneak peeks from last night.

Me Ann, Me & Raynette

With the Debutante

John.MeAnn.Meng

On our way home :)

***

I was looking forward to Basketball today. Well, malas. It rained so hard that we ended up watching the Tigers practice for their game. Darn it. Our Professor did not let us go home immediately, but instead, he forced us to watch the stretching, and drills the varsity players had to undergo. I hate it. Such a waste of time. Tsk. Buti na lang walang pasok bukas at sa Wednesday. How good is that? Another weekend eh? Haha. Too tired. Eyes are starting to shut. Have to go to sleep now. Crap.

These are basically the Highlights of the week. =)


Had Lunch at the Orange Place last Wednesday :)

Tried out Cookai's new digicam

All Girls? Not quite.

I just love this pic!
(Pinandidirihan kame ni Pacific!)

Before our class picture last Tuesday

NEWS FLASH!

CWTS Prelims on Sunday is postponed! Yehey. Happy happy day!

Regaining everything.

I've become happy again. Seems like I got over it - well, not totally, at least I'm back to my normal self again. A lot happened lately. Revelations at its best!

I've been seeing Basketball classmates here and there since Tuesday. Why? My classmates keeps insisting that I have a crush on one of our classmates. Wala naman. Or maybe do I? Joke lang! Move on agad? Haha.

***

I've been sleepless for the past few nights. Good news that there are no classes tomorrow! Yehey! Natutupad na ang mga pangarap kong mawalan ng pasok. Next Tuesday, classes will be suspended from 8-1pm and then the following day would be the feast of St. Dominic. Yey again! But when classes resume on Thursday, it will be like hell (or so I think?). Haay. I'll just sing this song.. Haha! I've been having the Last Song Syndrome since Monday. I can't get it out of my head.

Never Be Lonely
The Feeling

People in love get fast and foolish
People in love get everything wrong
People in love get scared and stupid
People in love get everything wrong

At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
They'll never be lonely

B-b-b-baby
I think I'm going c-c-c-crazy
Why should I be sane without you (hahh)

They tell me to fight it
They think anyone will try it,
I'll never be the same without you (hahh)

People in love get special treatment
People in love get everything wrong
People in love their hearts get eaten
People in love get everything wrong

At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
They'll never be lonely

B-b-b-baby
I think I'm going c-c-c-crazy
And why should I be sane without you (hahh)
They tell me to fight it
But they can bloody well just try it
I'll never be the same without you (hahh)
(hahh) (hahhh)

never be lonely
never be lonely
never be lonely
never be lonely
never be lonely
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never beee...)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never beee...)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never bee...)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never beee...)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never be lonely)
never be lonely (never beee...)
never be lonely (never be lonely)

never be lonely . . .