THANK YOU :)

*This is a very informal entry. I poured out real emotions while writing, so please bear with me... don't mind the typos hahaha*

Well, guys. Salamat po sa lahat ng bumoto sa akin, kahit na hindi ako nanalo, Charmaine "Meng" Sales, bilang inyong VP Internal, sa ilalim ng partido kaCASA (sorry, hang over hehehe), i super appreciate the support and trust you have given me. Sobrang saya ko na malaman na Solid ang CA1-my beloved block sa akin. Haha. Looks like you still got a president para sa susunod na taon. Alam kong dinasal niyo talagang hindi ako manalo para may presidente pa rin ang klase natin next year. Haha. Joke lang =)

No sad feeling actually. :) Masaya ako for the experience that the election had given me. The Ngarag moments during the campaign at mga kalokohan namin habang nagpapractice ng speech. I learned a lot of things. Super thanks. =) Allow me to enumerate the people na super support at nakilala ko ng lubusan. :)

First of all... KUYA EJ! Grabeng suporta. Ginawa ka naming Aliping Saguiguilid during the campaign. Hehe. Salamat dahil you believed in me at gave me the urge to run. Wala akong masabi! Ikaw na ang pinakaASTIG na presidente ng organisasyon na nakilala ko. Sana wag mo kame kalimutan kahit na gagraduate ka na :) Lovelove kuya ej! Mwah!

Ate Che at Ate Ysa *tama ba spelling? hehe*. Wow. I salute the two of you! Sobrang support at kahit na marami kayong ginagawa, nasingit niyo pa rin ang tulungan at gumawa ng paraphs. =) Thank you sobra.

Sa mga Alumni-- Kuya Francis, Kuya Ken *kahit na di ko na naabutan yung batch niyo*, salamat ng marami dahil andyan pa rin kayo para magbigay ng pointers at lakas ng loob. Woohoo! thanks bigtime :)

Ate Tek, Ate M.Lo at Ate Kamla: salamat sa pagCM. hehehe! the best kayo! tska thanks sa tips at encouragement :)

Nico Dueñas: ahahaha. talagang kailangan may last name? Marami kasi akong Nico na kakilala. Haha! Salamat sa laughtrip, mga kalokohan at mga banat mo. =))

Kuya Arden! hahaha. ang funny mo ever. =) Salamat sa words of wisdom! Hehe!

Sheena, Mafe, at Celine: Thanks sa inyo! woohoo! the best talaga kayo magsuporta. Saya nung nanoood tayo ng short films! Haha! Laughtrip yon.

MARITESS! (Chai!) Hahaha. SALAMAT sa bonding at chismisan moments natin. Salamat sa eleksyon at campaign dahil dun kita nakilala ng lubusan. Okay lang kahit di tayo nanalo, the most important thing is, we fought and believed in ourselves. Kaya pala natin mangarag ng ganun at pumasok ng pagka-aga-aga kinabukasan. oha oha! hahaha. Sana mahanap na natin si Maritess *kung ka nasan ka man, please, magpakita ka na* Haha! Love you Chai :)

Kay Mon at Pam: Galing niyo. Sabi ko na sa inyo diba you guys will win?! Tuloy niyo ang mga naisip niyong project. Don't worry, kung kailangan niyo tulong andito lang kame ni Chai :) Salamat sa mga moments shared, tawanan, laitan at kung anu-ano pa. Goodluck sa incoming year. :)

BJ! Malupet ka. Landslide. Woohoo. Mabenta talaga ang linyang "Alam mo ba ang ibig sabihin ng BJ?" na ang ibig sabihin talaga ay ang pagiging Ingat-Yaman ay "BEST JOB" ever. Hehe! Galingan mo next year!

Kuya Biz at Ate Ruby. Ang dame kong natutunan sa inyo. As in WOW. Salamat sa mga tips at mga kwentuhan. =)

Sa buong 2CA1!!! Grabe, epal kayo. Haha. Joke. LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU! Sobrang solid. Sana tuloy-tuloy ng maging ganito hanggang 4th yr!

Me Ann - Syempre, for being just plain you. Woooo. Matouch ka naman! Haha. Salamat sa suporta, sa notes dahil wala ako sa classroom nung kampanya, at mga ideas. Thanks so much!

Pacific - assuming kang mananalo ako. haha. At dahil dyan, We will continue hunting boys. =) *laboooo*

Lou - it's your lucky day. Adik ka pa rin. Hahaha. Salamat sa Chapters and chapters mong ginawang questionnaire. =)

Kay Nico bading at Rigel - hahaha. Salamat at may instant bodyguards ako sa tuwing lalabas tayo ng campus (at kahit ng classroom lang). Haha. Funneeeh.

Kay Tart at John - dahil sa pagbibigay ng idea sa akin sa aking initial speech. Thanks talaga! Well. At dahil dyan... Sana maging kayo na. Hahahaha. Joke lang. *issue na naman. Hehehe!*

Esfrey, Kristianne at Vanie - for always reminding me of how responsible I am to you guys. *huh? sinabi niyo ba talaga yon? well, kunwari na lang sinabi niyo, implicitly kasi eh! Haha* Love you guys!

Cookai, Julie, Karen at Zhari - Haha. Love you guys! Ang dame niyong mga evil thoughts. Haha. *si Karen natuto na*. Thank you dahil you always believed in me. Weeee. :)

Sa Mag-asawang Ron at Dartz - assuming din kayo. haha. Sorry walang bakemac =p Thanks dahil mega support kayo! Inuman na lang! Hahaha! Magco-Conti's pa tayo remember?!

Chandra, Tere, Aikee, Colet, Faith, Dax, Revs at Pen, isasama ko na dito si Jhong! - Woohoo. The best kayo. Love ko kayo talaga ever! Salamat sa mga words of encouragement :) at mga evil thoughts na rin. Hehehehe :)

Carlo, Ian at Junjun - kahit na nilait mo ko Carlo at sinabi mong panget ang new hair ko, oks lang. Haha. Bading ka naman. Joke! Salamat sa inyo ni Ian at junjun! Woohoo. =)

Jam!!! - thanks sa initial idea din ng gimick para sa campaign. Astig ka :) Ikaw naman tumabkbo next year! hehehe =)

Kevin - dahil simpleng chismoso ka. Haha. Salamat sa pagsabing "Talo ka? OK lang." Haha. Lalim noh? Dreamy ka pa rin kahit ganon. hahaha!

Rayne at Kirby - Hehe! Sobrang thank you sa mga good thoughts sa akin at evil thoughts para sa iba. Haha! Alam niyo na yon. :)

Angie - salamat dahil sinabi mong "I would've like it better if you won :)" Hehe. Thanks angie! Love love.

May nakalimutan pa ba ako? Grabe. Parang SONA lang ha. Ang haba na nito in fairness. Anyway, wala na ko masabi. Hehe. =) Again, salamat talaga! From the bottom of my beautiful, sexy heart -- THANK YOU!

Pagod, Puyat, Pagbabago.

Isang buong linggo akong napagod at natutong humarap sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman dati napapansin. Naging abala ako sa pangangampanya. Sa mga paulit-ulit na pagsabi ng isang pangarap na sana'y matupad, pangarap ng pagbabago. *Super tagalog noh?*

Hindi ko alam kung san ko uumpisahan ang buong linggong hindi ko pagsulat. Maraming nangyari. Nakakapagod pero masaya. Maraming mukhang nakita at maraming kaibigang nakilala. Saya pala ng feeling. Bakit ba kasi mas pinili kong maging tahimik noon? Bakit kaya mas pinili kong magsawalang-bahala. Siguro kasi napagod ako noong high school. Ewan. Pero ngayon, di talaga maalis eh. Nandoon talaga yung "urge" para makielam, makiisa at manguna. Katumbas ng mithiin na yon, ay mga araw ng puyat at sakripisyo ng pag-uwi ng gabi. Pero wala akong pinagsisihan. Masaya ako.

***

Maiba tayo.

Naranasan mo na bang minsan, isang araw, gusto mo na lang bitawan ang isang bagay na matagal mong tinago, inalagaan at minahal? Ako. Oo. Kahapon lang. Ngayon ko talagang masasabi na, "I had my hair cut." Siguro para sa iba, Buhok lang naman yan eh. It grows. Pero para sa akin, sa loob ng halos anim na taon, ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na bitiwan ang matagal kong pinangalagaan. Bilang babae, napakaimportante ng buhok. Pero dumarating talaga sa buhay ng isang tao na kailangang harapin ang pagbabago. Bagong hinaharap. Sana magsilbing senyales ito patungo sa mas masaya at mas makabuluhang paglalakbay.

Before -> After

*I want to write more, but I can't find words to properly describe last week. But one thing for sure. I was really stressed!*

I Can Feel the Pressure, It's Getting Closer Now

RANDOMLY Thinking...

• We've recently finished shooting the Instructional video for our finals in Broad Comm. Whew. But the bad news is, we still need to edit it. I don't know if its good enough to become an instructional video but what matters most is that I had fun with my group mates and we felt very at home at Ron's place. The boys made a funny segment and I laughed my butt off just watching them do it. I really hope it turns out great. We put hard work and dedication to it. Reveal your ABS!

• I hate making speeches. If there's one thing I hate doing, speech writing would be on top of my list. I suck big time! Sabaw na utak ko. I had difficulty on how I would start the whole thing. Why is it so hard to describe and flatter yourself, when you, yourself, is the one who knows the real YOU. Darn it. It's really frustrating. I have already seek advice from some of my friends but I got nothin'. I can't blame them - sabaw na rin sila, I can tell. Haha!

• When I think about the week ahead, I would choose to faint and hope to wake up when it's all over. But I can't give up now. There are too many things waiting to be done and yet they remain untouched. There's the Theology reflection that'll serve as our finals, the philo research paper, the CWTS reflection papers and environmental week, Noli Me Tangere exam and El Filibusterismo recitation, the toothpaste commercial, our Debate report on English and Chapter 10 Philippine history test, just to name a few. Would I survive? *Cross-fingers*

• Scarcity of sleep will probably start tomorrow and until March 15 - our last day. Sana March 15 na. Haha! Wish me luck.
  

Stress

• I'm beginning to feel stressed again.

• It sucks to feel sleepy when you need to study and make a speech at the same time.

• I do hope we finish the instructional video on time for the submission next week.

• Tomorrow: AB elections. I'm torn on who to vote. I know who are deserving enough but it's hard to make a choice.

• I need to concentrate on more important things and organize what I have to do.

• Basically. This entry - sucks. Will try to write more efficiently next time. But for now. I need sleep. I need to rest. And I need to clear my mind.

I almost forgot, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. I'm not really affected or whatsoever. But I'll greet you, who are reading this, anyway. Happy Valentine's Day!

Confused

February’s supposed to be the love month. In my case, I’m (we, rather) experiencing hell. Learning is supposed to spell F-U-N, not H-E-L-L. I lost interest in Tuesdays and Thursdays. I regret going to school and end up feeling down, unappreciated and irritated all at the same time. Why can’t some people just learn how to appreciate all the efforts other people make? We are not slackers. We put hard work in to it – time, effort, sweat and blood. Sweet, sweet blood. It's just that you have your way and we have ours. So deal with it. (Or we have to deal with you? Grr. Unfair!) Nakakainis lang, masyadong nakaka-down yung ugali.

***

I just finished editing my Nazi’s project for Sociology this afternoon. It’s an interview of some street kids near Lacson and about poverty here in the Philippines. It’s a favor, by the way. I’m still thinking of what to ask for in return. Haha. I told her not to pay me or anything, but since she insists… I’ll think of something. =)

***

I’ve been dreaming weird stuff lately. I’ve dreamt of people I’ve erased (or learning to erase) from my mind. But they still come back and present themselves in my dreams. Bakit kaya ganun? Kung kalian naman gusto ko ng kalimutan ang isang tao o isang bagay, hindi ko magawa. Bigla na lang babalik ng walang pasabi. Nakakabigla. Ang hirap. It makes me think of what would it be like if my dreams would all come true. Kahit yung kagabi lang, sobrang saya ko na siguro.

If you’re wondering what my dream was, well, let’s just say it’s about someone I want to forget, but simply can’t and no matter how hard I try to erase him from my memory, I just, well… can’t. In my dream, everything seemed so perfect. There’s no hate, no problems and no pretensions, only the feeling of LOVE. Masaya. And most especially, there He was – standing. Homayged, I’m beginning to sound so cheesy. I keep telling myself THIS but I end up feeling like THAT. It’s so confusing. I wish I had the answers with me, but sadly, I don’t. Epekto ba ‘to ng papalapit ng Balemtayms day? O epekto lang ng kalungkutang dulot ng pag-iisa? Haay.

Unlucky day

Somehow fate did not allow this day to be a lucky day as we've always wanted. Evil mortals are overpowering the troupe with their sole ability to make or break us. Why did God ever let the evil get out of hell? Where are those pure hearts roaming when the superior ones decided who will be our maestros? Are we being punished for being the measly learners that we are? Too much expectations around.

Sometimes I want to give up and take all the blame. Well, partly, its my fault but mostly its the evil mortal's fault. We are not sorcerers and witches or mind readers to guess what you want nor are we your substitute. There are too many things in mind and our brain's capacities aren't as big of a storage as yours.

I do have my own evil thought though. *Evil laugh. Bwahahahaha*

Soon, I will no longer have to put up with you. Soon, it'll all be over and we will be triumphant. You'll see.

The Love Month

The love month entered... so what? Haha. Soon, I would see so much flowers, mushy couples and tons of chocolates everywhere. But honestly, it somehow makes me feel irritated and at the same time, the feeling of being alone. I know that Valentines isn't all about couples and relationships, but there is still that small part of me that feels like there's something missing. Hayaan niyo lang ako, this is one of those fleeting moments wherein I realize the stuff that the people around me has been insisting from quite some time now. I'm happy though - 'cause I have my big circle of friends around me :)

***

What's been up?

Well, I've been blog hopping lately and I've read so many entries about uncertainties on their chosen fields and topics on inferiority. Bigla akong napaisip, oo nga noh. What if I chose the wrong field and I'm on the wrong path? If people think that they don't know what's right for them or what they're really good at, me, I'm really confused on which one to choose. I have the feeling that I want to learn and excel in all those fields. But the reality is that - I can only choose one. One person can't have everything. And because I want to excel in all those fields, I'm having a hard time on which one to master, that particular something that I can say that I'm actually good at and is an expert on.

I guess it's too early to predict what career or what field I'm really good at, but at this point, I want to do so many things. I do hope that sooner or later, mahahanap ko hindi lang ang tamang career, pati ang taong nakatakda para sa akin. Ang drama! Haha! But FYI, I'm not rushing things. Though I'm already 19, on the verge of teenage fun, I'm not really rushing to actually find that someone. I know that in some point, he'll appear and I won't hesitate =)