Bakit ba hindi niyo ako maintindihan?
Hindi ko na alam kung san ko ilulugar ang sarili ko.
Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong mainis, umiyak, maglupasay o anupaman.

Hindi ko na nga pinili ipagtanggol ang sarili ko.
Pero ako pa rin ang mali. Kasalanan ko pa rin.
Hindi na ako umimik. Pero grabe ang inabot ko.
Nag-aaral naman akong mabuti. Pero bakit sa isang pagkakamali na hindi ko naman inaasahan, nawala lahat ng magagandang bagay na nagawa ko?

Tapos ngayon, sasabihin niyo, hindi niyo na ako pakikielaman?
Wala naman akong sinabing ganon.

Ayoko na.

It's been crazy.

A lot has been going on.
Activities and shit here and there and I'm beginning to look very haggard.
I don't like it.

Way back when I was in high school, I used to look so young and fresh everyday, without any hint of worry and stress. Ever since I entered college, my young and refreshed world has ended into a cold world of stress and cramming. HAHAHA. But enough about that.

It feels so long since I visited this page. It's been ages. Nilalangaw at nilulumot na ata itong blog na ito. But here I am. Voila! :) It's the day after Valentine's day. How did I spent my Valentines? Well, I spent the day with my thesis friends. Lunch at Sicilian's. It was my first time to eat there and their white pizza was super heavenly. I must eat there, again. Soon. Very soon.

After lunch, we went back to school to watch a defense. But when we were already at Wendy's Dapitan, Karen felt that her bag was light. Unusual. She forgot her camera. So we ran for our lives to go back to Sicilian's. Luckily, it's still there. Hehe.

We watched a thesis defense (they got a 96 from Ma'am Faye) about the media economics of TV ratings. I must say, I didn't really understood most of the parts of their thesis, but I guess that made it the thesis. Hehe! :) Kudos to Ate Shieldz and her group. I wish ours would be as good as them one year after.

After the defense, we wanted to clear things up for ours. Off to Tinoco. We were already discussing and sorting things out until Cookai came. I already knew what she wanted. So I no longer hesitated to come with her. It all boils down to one point.

YES.

I do hope my decisions would lead me somewhere. God ikaw na ang bahala. Sabi nga ni Esfrey, God will never give me opportunities that I can't handle. Sana nga ay magdilang-anghel ka Esfrey. Ang arte ko nga eh. Matagal na nila akong kinakausap but I hesitated so many times. As in major ways. Natatakot kasi ako na baka hindi ko na kayanin yung mga ginagawa ko at one day bigla na lang akong magbreak down at mangisay sa sahig. HAHAHA. Over? At least my new year's resolution won't be put to a waste. Never let an opportunity pass by.

Kung ibig mo akong makilala
ni Ruth Elynia S. Mabanglo

Kung ibig mo akong makilala,
lampasan mo ang guhit ng mahugis na balat,
ang titig kong dagat--
yumayapos nang mahigpit sa bawat saglit
ng kahapon ko't bukas.

Kung ibig mo akong makilala
sunduin mo ako sa himlayang dilim
at sa madlang pagsukol ng inunang hilahil,
ibangon ako at saka palayain.

Isang pag-ibig na lipos ng lingap,
tahanang malaya sa pangamba at sumbat
may suhay ng tuwa't ang kaluwalhati'y
walang takda--
ialay mo lahat ito sa akin
kung mahal mo ako't ibig kilalanin.

Kung ibig mo akong kilalanin,
sisirin mo ako hanggang buto,
liparin mo ako hanggang utak,
umilanlang ka hanggang kaluluwa--
hubad ako roon: mula ulo hanggang paa.

I really love this poem. I changed my mind about posting my "Journey" here. I think it's way too personal to share it to cyberspace. Baka bigla niyang mabasa eh. So, no thanks. I'll just keep it to myself. Hello February.